Its that time of year. The leaves are falling and its getting really cold. So, its time to buy some pants.

After a thorough dig at the thrift store, I found these beauties.

Now, you may be saying, "Cody! WTF! I'm totally a nerd because I can't figure out whats so awesome about those pants by myself and I require that you tell me. And get me a bagel!" Well I'm not about to get you a bagel, but it is my duty to fill you hemorroids in.

Obviously the first thing that attracted me to them was the color. Being the snappy dresser that I be, I immediately saw the potential. Many combinations, and other technical issues that I won't get into today. But just realize, they're dang good. K? Alright.

The fabric is also of the highest quality. I think its made of dinosaur hair or some other terribly rare and expensive substance. Could be...waffles?

Mmm..

Right.

Now, for you manly men who typically have trouble in the danger region, fear no more. The crotch comfort level is off the charts. You could fit a small Danish family inside. Mmm.

Now, not all is good in the land of these pants. While it may have a lot of snazzy features and gagetry, there is one important issue. The butt-to-pant-ratio. A natural ratio is about 5:1. Some fashion calls for a 6:1. But when the ratio drops to a 4:1 level, nothing but trouble can happen. The pant to shoe buffer is raised to levels unheard of by the average man. If you're cool with that though, the feeling is unbelieveable. Most people just can't handle it.

In the end, I'm too sexy in these pants. You should all own many many pairs.

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