Legends of the Fridge: Four Hotdogs Adventures
June 26, 2004

LEGENDS OF THE FRIDGE: FOUR HOT DOGS ADVENTURES

After a long absence, Fuzzy Blowfish is back, and with some mind blowing news too. Last month we went beyond the boundaries of the E3 Electronics Expo in L.A. and discovered the ?E4 X-TREME ELECTREXPO.? Upon entering, some bears dressed as beavers with duck bills escorted us to the closed doors behind the closed doors. What we saw there was unbelievable?

That?s right, this year?s ?E4 X-Treme ELECTREXPO? Blew previous events clean out of the water. What got us the most excited, however, was there apparent spin-off of the recently released Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures. In case you don?t know, Four Swords Adventures is a great multiplayer romp whose blood pumps through the veins of Zelda: Link to the Past. Working off of that, Nintendo has decided to do a more ?real life? version of the game, this time going for realistic graphics and a more believable band of protagonists. Satoru Iwata, the president of Nintendo, speaks about the decision.

Iwata: We strongly believe in the game play elements that The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures has to offer. However, there are a large number of people who have never played a Zelda game before, and thusly are intimidated out of even trying Four Swords Adventures. We studied the situation and also discovered that this is the same general group who has a shared problem with unrealistic graphics. We decided this was a group that we really wanted to get through to, to try to get them to play games. This is why we?ve decided to move forward with the same gameplay mechanics, only now were introducing them to a much more realistic and recognizable world. It?s also important to mention that this game will be a launch title for our console that?s coming out after our next one, the Nintendo SuperXolution. Cool name, eh? We?re thinking it might have a few screens. Like twelve or so. Or nine.

After Iwata?s mega exclusive and totally up close and personal super speech, we were floored by what he told us was actual game play footage. Here are some very exclusive screenshots. Unfortunately, since the game is still early in production, only one of the four hot dogs was playable. Nevertheless, what we did see was incredible. Just see for yourself.

Seemingly taking notes from Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, Four Hotdogs Adventures has many covert sneak and kill espionage camouflage type mission? thingies.

The game also has some pretty extreme yet recognizable bosses. Take for example, this dog. Ahhh!

We aren?t to sure how these parts of the game will play, but there will apparently be times when your sword is lost. And it looks like you?ll get eaten by a fish too. However it plays out, we?re darn well interested!

Assumingly to gain back your life, you?ll have to eat food (pie is seen here). Ironic, since the character you play is food. Perhaps some kind of self mutilation and cannibalistic game elements will come in to play when you?re running dangerously low on health. Of course this is all speculation, only time will tell.

Perhaps to please prideful obsessives and rednecks, the American version of the game will feature loads of out-of-place patriotism. Go America! Whoo! We?re being told that the hand in this picture is indeed the hand of the President himself.

We think this screenshot pretty much speaks for itself.

As we walked away from Nintendo?s incredible showcase we could hardly say a word. We rode home from L.A. in complete silence, all going our separate ways still pale and speechless. Each one of us, with our pounding hearts and urine stained underpants knew without words that what we saw that day was the peak of our very existences. Now we all lay in our beds in the garage of our parents? houses simultaneously holding our breath; waiting for the launch of the Nintendo SuperXolution and Legends of the Fridge: Four Hotdogs Adventures.

Screenshots captured by Cody

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