Here is the story of a troubled youth. He has gone through many hardships and been involved in some bad stuff yo. We've changed his name to Mike, to protect him. Plus its a lot better than his real name, Dale Penny.

We're giving you his story, to maybe inspire you to be cool and stay in school. Or whatever it is the kids are saying these days.

Mike

Here, is Mike. His story is not unlike many of our own. He was born into a family of wild pygmies in New Jersey. After seeing his parents slaughtered in a gang battle with across the street rivals, he began a new life. He wandered the streets alone. He dabbled in drugs, guns, sex, video games, you know, all that bad stuff. It made him tough. Eventually he settled under a bridge, where he would spend the next 5 years running an illegal cookie operation, shipping 100000000000000 kilos of sugar cookies across the country every day.

Mike's new home.

Here he gathered a new family of gangster thugs. Every night they wen't out on the town, doing mischief and causing trouble.

Mike and his buddy Jeff beat up anyone with an N-Gage tshirt on

Mike terrorizing the ladies while the citizens turn the other way. Help us Mario!

Until one night, when Mike got arrested for throwing rocks at old people. Normally a crime punished by death.

Mike getting sized up.

But the judge was lenient. He sentenced Mike to 30 minutes in prison, a bajillion hours of community service and made him go to school.

This "school" was new to Mike. He had a very difficult time at first.

Integration? Anti-derivitives? Squiggly lines? Mike probably shouldn't have taken calculus as his first math class.

But he kept at it. He realized this is where he belonged. Not on the streets. But finding sides of triangles and drawing weird pictues. Now Mike makes 20 billion dollars a year writing math novels.

Mike loves his teacher

So let this be a lesson to you. Stay off the cookies, study hard, and don't throw rocks at old people.

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